Friday, March 23, 2012
PLEASE BREAK MY HEART (EPISODE 8)
Please Break My Heart
EPISODE 8
Jake walked towards me waving two movie
tickets with a big smile on his face,“I got us the last two tickets for Cars”.
“Cars, are you kidding me?”
“The movie is
a sell-out and a tip was necessary to get the last two tickets, so let me
rephrase your last sentence, Oh thanks a
lot Jake, you’re the best” Jake replied sounding like Minnie mouse.
“I do not
sound like that you retard” I replied hitting him on his shoulder. “I bet we’ll
be the only adults in the cinema”
And
apparently, we were the only adults in the cinema and to worsen matters, Jake
got us seats in the midsection of the hall. Making our way to the seats, was
like hurdling over the legs of the kids who wouldn’t adjust and let us pass
because they were so glued to the screen. Then we finally took a seat beside a
grumpy kid who apparently had some problem locating where his mouth was, he had
pop corn flying on his shirt, the chairs, Jake’s shoes, but Jake didn’t seem to
mind, he actually got a “kind” shove from me when threw his pop corn in my
face.
“Now let’s get you home” Jake
said as the KFC attendant handed me a bucket of half-wings and some fries. “Not
quite”, I replied with my mouth full.
“Then what?”
“The day is still young, it’s
just like 8pm and besides, it’s my birthday”
We
exchanged the knowing look, “are you thinking what I am thinking?” Jake asked.
I
nodded.
“So
where is it going to be?; Q-lounge, Koko lounge, Rehab...”
“Club
du retard” I replied cutting him off
“And
where is that?”
“Ebute-Metta”
“You
are joking right” he replied with a raised eye brow.
“Do you know the number of
cars that get jacked in that side of town?”
“Just tell me you are joking”
“You
chicken, come on its not that bad and beside I have got friends in that side of
town, you’ll be just fine”
“Are you sure
about this?” Jake asked as he pulled up into a noisy neighbourhood.
“Yes, I
just want to have fun, isn’t that what you want?” I asked. “I want you to have
fun but we at a pub”, he replied. “Don’t be a silly girl”, I said and jumped
out of the car. The local pubs downtown had the best fun loving people. I
danced into the night with Jake all around me before I knew it, I knew nothing.
What does that mean? I guess I got drunk!
“Morning D”, Jake said handing me
a cup of coffee. I had to shield my eyes; at least I knew where I was. Jane’s
room always let in too much light early in the morning. By the way, Jane is
Jake’s twin.
“Thanks”, I said as I took the cup.
“You
went overboard and got drunk last night at the Pub”, he started as he raised
the curtains. I sipped the coffee gently. A large smile danced round Jake’s
face.
“What?” I asked.
He jumped at me and tickled me hard.
“I had never
seen you dance until last night”, he said.
“That
was my birthday”, I replied.
“I am so happy
to see you happy”, he said.
“Thank you
Jake”, I said warmly. He smiled, acknowledging me.
“I owe it to
you, if you didn’t help me, I would have never known how to enjoy a birthday”,
I added. “Thank you”, I said again and hugged him.
“Time
to go home”, he said releasing me.
“Jake, how
much did I drink last night?” I asked as we approached the door.
“Somewhere
between a lot and too much”
“Hi Jake”, Dad said as we walked
in.
“Good morning sir”,
he replied.
“Where did you
kidnap my girl to yesterday?” He asked.
“We
just hung out”, he replied scratching his head.
“Why are you asking him questions Dad when I
am right here?” I asked angrily.
“Darlene”, Jake whispered under his breath.
“I just wanted to
know because I wanted to have a quiet night with you yesterday for your
birthday”, Dad replied.
“Am I supposed to celebrate that”? I asked
rudely.
“When are you
going to stop resenting me”? He asked.
“I am going to
take my leave now”, Jake said excusing himself.
“Why are you so pissed about not getting the
job at my firm?” Dad asked.
I scoffed.
“You are working at Ade-Cole, anyone will kill
to have that job”, he replied.
“Anyone except
me”, I said.
“I will not
continue to take your petty insults”, he replied.
“I am not done
yet; I want to know why you employed a certain Dora Oluwole in your company as
your Personal Assistant”? I asked.
“That is my
personal business and why are you digging into my business?” He asked angrily.
“Don’t you
think that she is too young for an affair, she is only 22 Dad”, I yelled.
“Why would I date my own daughter?” He asked.
I was shocked!
“Listen
Darlene, I wanted to talk to you about it yesterday, I am very sorry”, he said.
I ran upstairs and shut the door
angrily.
"Hi", I heard a
thin voice say.
"I am Dora", she
said.
"What"! I yelled.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Sorry for the delay
I apologize for uploading the 7th Episode of Please Break My Heart this late. It was due to very poor network service. Enjoy!
Cheers!
Tomi
Cheers!
Tomi
Please Break My Heart (EPISODE 7)
Please Break My Heart
EPISODE 7
I could
hear the sound of slow hip-hop pulsing behind the closed windows of the Beamer
as I approached. But Jake killed the music as soon as I reached for the door
handle. I slid into the front seat next to Jake and told him to take me home.
“Who
was that you were listening to?” I asked him.
“Um,
that was Lil Wayne.”
“How
to love?”
“That’s
right.”
Over
the years, I had become knowledgeable in the subtle distinctions, regional and
otherwise, in rap and hip-hop. Across the board, most of my friends listened to
it. Some of them fashion their life styles from them. I wouldn’t think of being
totally tuned to music, especially rap. I reached for the disk rack and chose
one at random. I noted the handwritten ‘Dido’ on the disk. I handed the disk
over to Jake and he slid it into the dashboard stereo. I didn’t have to tell
him to play it at a volume so low that it would amount to little more than
background noise. Jake knew I hated noise. I turned my phone on, checked my voice mail and had two unread messages. One from my great aunt, Aunt Sally, she
was apologizing for missing my mom’s remembrance service, this is the fifth
consecutive time she was missing the service, so I was used to her constant
apology messages. The other message was from Mrs Small.
I
called Mrs Small back first; I was uninterested in returning Aunt Sally’s
message. “Hi Toni”, I said, signalling to Jake to totally kill the music. “Hey
Honey, how are you holding up?” she asked. “I have been holding up well for the
past twenty four years”, I replied sarcastically. Honestly, why would Toni ask
how I have been holding up? My mom has been long dead. “I just thought you
might need comfort”, she said sounding a bit defensive. “Oh Toni, where is your
sense of humour?” I asked. At this junction, she burst into a mean laughter. “I
do not like the sound of your laughter,” I said into the receiver. “Dare came
for the service”, I said. “Oh! That’s nice to know”, she replied. “I am happy
to know that he at least has one human bone in him,” I said. “And speaking of
Dare coming to my mom’s service, how did he get the address?” I asked quickly.
“Apart from the fact that you in your rude behaviour flung the card at him, I
gave him the address”, she replied. “Did he ask for the address?” I asked
smiling impressively. “Yes, he did”, she replied. The line started to break as
we spoke and so I had to end my call with Toni.
The
traffic heading downtown bottle necked on the third mainland bridge. I spent the
time in the car ‘tweeting’ and trying not to think about going back to Ade-Cole
and the argument I had with my Dad about resenting him, My Dad was right and
that’s what hurts. For a long time, I had been angry with the old man for a lot
of reasons. It was something I had thought about changing myself. In a few
minutes, we broke free of the bottleneck. I looked out of the window and saw no
accident, I saw nobody with a flat Tyre and no high way patrol cruiser parked
on the shoulder. I saw nothing to explain the traffic. It was often like that.
Freeway traffic in Lagos was as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. It
moved and flowed, then stalled, crawled and stopped for no easily explainable
reason.
“Always thought that I would love to live by
the sea...” Dido’s lyrics titled straight into my thoughts or rather
interrupted my thoughts. I didn’t vision my life to be this complicated, never
knew that Lagos could shrink so much that I would have to run into Mr Ex every
other day of the week. I tried not to think about work. There are so many
assholes to think about and so little time.
Then
solid bass blaring from the custom beamer speaker almost sent my head into the
window glass, I turned swiftly to look at Jake with my hands covering both
ears, I frowned at Jake who seemed to derive so much pleasure from the noise he
had created, noticing the swift movement, he turned in my direction.
“What?”
he asked with a smile.
Then he
noticed the frown and the hand to ear gesture it made, he let the volume down
from the media control on the steering wheels. Then he looked back at me and
noticed that I hadn’t looked away and still had the frown on, I spotted his
fumy smile spreading across his face, showing his white but broken canine.
“That
was M.I”, had to play him out loud.
I shrugged and thought, what
it was with Ex BHS boys and M.I....he is like a super hero to them. No
disrespect to the Lagos superstar, but I wouldn’t even have him on my rack. “Why
do you hate M.I so much?” Jake asked as if he read my thoughts. “I have never
liked him, even knowing that he is an alumnus of our high school,” I replied coolly
applying my lip gloss. “What will you rather have me play?” “Adele?” he asked
with a grimace. “More like it”, I replied smiling. “I will not play such music
in this royal stereo of mine”, he replied proudly. “And I suppose M.I is
royalty?” I asked mockingly. Jake and I were very used to banters, especially
on our favourites; we basically didn’t like the same things. I can’t stand M.I,
and Jake thinks that Adele is a pathetic musician. When it comes to our choices
in Football, I love Chelsea Football Club, and Jake can go on everyday about
Arsenal Football Club. To worsen our usual Footie outburst, Jake hates my best
footballer, Didier Drogba. Why would anyone hate Didier Drogba? I couldn’t
really blame Jake, Drogba is known for “ripping the brakes out of Arsenal’s
Car” whenever the London derby arises.
Jake drove on into the night
as I remained glued to my smashing new blackberry I had several “pings” to reply and of course,
have fun “tweeting”. The journey to my house was taking longer than expected,
but I couldn’t be bothered, I was with Jake! I feel very safe with my “big
bear” as I love to call Jake. Speaking about Jake’s physique, he had been
working out since high school when I had problem with seniors boys coming at me
because of the “so-called attitude” they said I posed at them whenever they
wanted to go out with me. Jake got into fights in school because of me, I
always got on people’s nerves and then I rush to Jake for help, he has always
been there, and nothing has changed.
“Here we are”, Jake said as
he pulled up. I stared at the very familiar environment, then turned and
punched Jake hard on the shoulder. “What are we doing at the galleria?” I asked
as I peered out of the tinted glass windows. “We are here to celebrate your
first ever birthday and put an end to your annoying birthdays”, he replied
turning his phone off. “Jake, my mom’s remembrance service started when I was
four years old, so I don’t think it’s that bad, and beside I like hanging with
my mom at the cemetery” I replied. “It is horrible you know what?, you’re
hanging out with me today and we are having fun even if I have to drag you
along screaming and kicking all the way” he said smiling, “Jake, am I crazy?” I
said smiling back at him. “No you’re not crazy, and I’m the crazy one in case
you forgot”, he replied closing the doors of the car.
Friday, March 9, 2012
PLEASE BREAK MY HEART (EPISODE 6)
Please Break My Heart
EPISODE 6
“Do you
think that Dare would grant me the opportunity to attend the programme?” I
asked Toni waving an invitation card before her. Toni raised her head slightly
and took a quick peek at the card. “You will have to see for yourself, you are
very new here and a function would be regarded as inappropriate”, she replied. “I
have never missed it and I don’t intend to now”, I replied and left for Dare’s
office. “Morning Dare” I said. He nodded. “I would like to be excused from work
tomorrow”, I said. “Are you feeling ill?” He asked without looking up, his gaze
was totally fixed to his laptop, who does he think he is? He should have at
least looked at me. “No, but I have a very important function to attend”, I
replied. “What function can be more important than your job here”? He asked
staring at my hand. At least, he is looking at me now. “It is a service for my
mother”, I replied. His look was now very stern. “Is she a clown?” Why would
she want a service? He asked, looking irritated. Listen to me, if you go for
it, you can kiss your job goodbye, he added and faced his laptop. I flung the
card at him in utter disgust, “it is a remembrance service for my late mother,
and I quit”! I yelled and walked out.
“Cheer
up honey”, Jake said as he wiped my tears. “He called my mother a clown”, I
mumbled. That Jerk! “He doesn’t deserve your tears”, he replied. “I don’t want
to work here again, take me away from here Jake”, I said. “We would clear your
desk tomorrow”, he replied, opening the door for me. I sat in the car feeling
awful; Jake smiled at me. Jake’s smile came as a relief, there was something
“kind” about his smile. We left for his place. I will get you something to
drink; he said and left for his kitchen. I stared at a picture of Jake and I on
our graduation from High School. “How could he still keep such a picture?” I
thought. I had no idea where mine was, and moreover, I thought the picture
looked boring. We were just two youngsters leaving High School and looked quite
nervous. I snapped out of my thoughts as he returned with a can of soda. “I
want to start my driving lessons this weekend”, I said. “I am not tired of
driving you around”, he replied handing me the soda. I know, but I want to be
able to drive myself around and not wait on my office stairs for about twenty
minutes like I did today, I said. “That was an emergency, if you had called me
prior to the time, you know that I would have been there”, he replied. That is
the typical Jake Martin-Oje reply. I have to put an end to his “over
protectiveness”; although I can’t really say that Jake is over protective. “But
I don’t want you running here and there for me”, I said.” Moreover, I don’t
like your new ‘beamer’”, I added with a light smile. “What will ever satisfy
you”? He asked with a wide smile.
“Brethren,
we are gathered here today for the 20th remembrance service of late
Mrs Danielle Williams...” I watched the priest go over the formalities. I found
it hard to shed a tear, maybe it was because I never really knew her, but as I
stare at her grave like the past years, I feel drawn to her. She died on my 1st
birthday, she was trying to bake my cake when she heard me cry, she rushed to
me but on her way, she slipped and hit her head and that was the end of my
mother and my birthdays. My father never celebrated any of my birthdays and
when he told me how she died, I vowed never to have fun on my birthday,
anyways, and today is my birthday, my 24th birthday. My mother’s
remembrance service has always been held on my birthday, so that was enough for
me to feel sad and forget ever having fun. “What is fun by the way without a
mother?”
“Happy
birthday”, Jake whispered into my ear. I nodded without a smile. Jake always
tried to make me happy on my birthdays; he always baked me a cake, which I
always dropped at the cemetery after the service. The cemetery was soon empty,
Dad and his guests had left, leaving Jake and I and some anonymous figures
paying their last respects. I stared at my mother’s grave; my mum would have
been 50 if not for her unfortunate death. I dropped the cake and tears flowed
down my eyes. That is the part where I always had to shed the tears, it felt
special in a sad way to present the cake we never baked on my 1st
birthday. “Would she eat the cake?” I asked Jake with a smile. His amused grin
broadens and he put his hand on my shoulder. I faced the grave and dropped a
flower. “I am sorry for your loss”, a thick voice said with a musical British
accent. I turned round to see Dare Ade-Cole in a tightly fitted black suit; I
nodded and faced her grave. “Take the week off, see you on Monday”, he said and
walked away. I turned back and watched him leave. “You might need a minute
alone” Jake said. “I will be by the car”, he added and left.
“A 24th
birthday needs to be cherished and spent well”, Jake said as he drove. “That
rule doesn’t apply to me”, I replied. “Here we go again Darlene, for how long
will you allow this to continue?” He asked. I gave no answer to his “rhetorical
question”. He obviously knew my answer, why was he asking? “You cry every time
on your birthday, I honestly think that you should tell your Dad to change the
remembrance date”, he said. “I want the remembrance left on this date”, I
replied. He sighed deeply. “I get it”, he said and drove on.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Five (5) Episodes so far...
The Fifth Episode of your thrilling "Please Break My Heart" is OUT! Now that we have reached the 5th Episode, I would love to give a big shout out to my NIGERIAN audience for being the highest patronizers, Also coming in 2nd place is my audience from THE UNITED KINGDOM, and the 3rd highest is coming from UNITED STATES. Thank you all for being there! Keep reading and keep tweeting, sharing, telling, blogging about this blog. Make me better, I love you!
Cheers!
Tomi
Cheers!
Tomi
PLEASE BREAK MY HEART (EPISODE 5)
Please Break My Heart
EPISODE 5
“Do you
want me to give you a ride?” Dad asked as he came downstairs. There we go
again, i knew the peace and quiet had been too perfect to last but thank God we
didn’t have to go the through the ‘good morning-good morning routine’. No, thanks, I already called Jake, I replied.
“When are you going to get your own car?” He asked. “Maybe when I start earning
my salary”, I replied, sipping my coffee. “Jake can’t continue to do everything
for you; he has got his own life”, he said, slipping into his Suit. He is not
complaining Dad; I replied and carried my briefcase. See you later, I added and
walked out. Jake pulled up seconds after I walked out of the house.
“Are
you satisfied with ‘the new golden carriage’? Jake asked as rolled down the
tinted window with a grin on his face. “It is okay,” I replied. So you call my
new ‘beamer’ okay? How many of this have you seen around,” Jake added raising
an eyebrow with his “leery eyes” peering from under his dark glasses. Jake and
I had been friends from as far back as I could recall, we went to the same
schools, even Harvard, Jake bagged a degree in Architecture. He is very
artistic and creative, that is my favourite quality in him, apart from his
heavy masculine physique and cute face. Jake is the perfect listener. I rant
about all my fears and pains to him, and he lends me the listening ear that I
require. “Jake please don’t get me started this morning” I replied, ”wow,
someone’s pissed, why didn’t you turn up for the party last night?” Jake
replied with a queer, choked voice, “unlike you some of us have to go to work’’
I replied shifting my weight from the middle arm-rest, I was angry but not too
angry to notice the comfy leather interior of the new BMW X6, Jake is
self-employed with really no reason to work, He is the only son of the owner of
the biggest construction company in west Africa. Be a good girl, he said as he pulled up in
front of Ade-Cole Law Firm. I smiled and hurried off.
Good
morning Toni, I said as I walked in. Hello Darlene, she replied smiling. Dare
wants to see you in his office, she added quickly. A stream of anger and
fatigue flew through my whole body; I immediately left for his office. “Good
morning Sir,” I said. The name is Dare, he replied with a grin which he rarely
did. We do a first name here, you should have read that in the handbook, he
added. Yes Dare, I replied, feeling comfortable. I went through your
credentials last night and I must say, it is top class, he said, “thanks”, I
replied. He was too engrossed in he’s speech to notice the irony in my voice
Does that mean that I get my office? I asked. No, at least not yet, the
personal office thing comes when the firm feels that you are certified by all
standards to be an office owner, he replied still with the strange and annoying
grin. Why then did he call me here? I said to myself inaudibly. “Darlene, I
would like you to accompany me to a press conference by 2pm, it is for the firm”,
he said. I glanced at my watch. “It won’t take your time and you don’t need to
say a thing, in fact, you have nothing to say, you are just going to be a
figure there”, he continued. I wore a weird gaze at him. I am actually taking
you because I think you are beautiful and would make for a good cover page
standing by me, he added, why don’t you just a hire a Model? I asked bluntly.
He laughed. Hiring will mean me paying her and I am not interested in paying
for a thirty minutes interview. He replied. I wasn’t aware that that was part
of our professional agreement...I can check with my colleagues to be certain, I
replied, looking uninterested. “Could
you really check?” he asked. I frowned at his Sarcasm. Look Darlene, you are my
staff and you do what I say, he replied.
Dare
forced me to a press conference, God knows what he would do to me next before
this week runs out, I complained bitterly to Jake as he drove me home later in
the evening. Who is Dare? He asked. My boss, Dare Ade-Cole, I replied. Do I
sense a “beauty and the beast story” in the offing? He asked with a sarcastic
smile. Yeah yeah...very funny Jake, I
replied probably not impressed with one of Jake’s casual Jokes. “The firm
operates on a first name basis between the staffs”, I replied. You will be fine
babe, you are very strong and you will come out well there, he said.” Do you
know why my Dad doesn’t want me at his firm”? I asked, with no provocation. If
you work at Williams Firm, people will say that your Dad planted you there,
they will disregard your merits, he replied. Jake that is so “flat”, I worked
hard for my degree, I replied with a deep breath. Prove it at Ade-Cole and you
will see that your father will be dying to have you at his firm, he said. I
sighed. Cheer up babe, do you care for chicken? KFC is just right around the
corner, he said. Thanks Jake, I replied. What would I do without you? I asked
with a smile. Nothing, you couldn’t do anything without me, he replied with a
grin.
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