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Friday, June 29, 2012



I don't know how to break your hearts with this news, but there MAY be a brief halt in PBMH. It is just a possibility, but I'd like us to be ready. Just so you know, PBMH isn't over. The Party just started!

Tomi XO



                                “Jake, come on…do you think that I am ready to be driven round the city in a police van?”
                Jake laughed. “It’s not a big deal, and this won’t be your first time. You were arrested with your boss, remember?”
                                “Oh…so you have gotten the gist already? Who told you?”
                                “It doesn’t matter. The police station is still reeling with excitement from the arrest of two of the most powerful people in the city. Just take it as, you are a celebrated villain.”
                I smiled. “I have a stalker problem.”
                Jake stuck his tongue out. “That’s what you get for leading people on.” He said, adjusting his sunglasses.
                I yanked the sunglasses off his face that he let out a cry. “Lead? I did not even know the dude until I met him at my driving school. He followed me around ever since.” I protested.
                                “Okay.” He replied, forcefully taking his sunglasses. “This cost much, they are royal.” He said kissing the frame of the sunglass. “I could care less about your stalker problem; all you need is a restraining order. But if my sunglasses got damaged, I can’t get it fixed.”
                Jake is back! Everything had to be fun for him. I smiled as I stared at the way he caressed the sunglasses. ‘Much ado about nothing!’ Jake made silly things count. An example was the car he had inherited from his grandfather before getting a new one.
                                “How do you intend getting back to the office?” he asked, as a police officer approached us.
                                “I will go with you as far as Broad Street.” I replied.
                The Police officer stood before us. “Hello” he said quietly.
                                “He is my supervisor for the community service; just to ensure that I am a good boy.” Jake said.
                                “My name is Philip.” He replied.
                                “Hi Philip.” I said, as we exchanged handshake.
                Jake cleared his throat. “Philip, I would love if we could drop this pretty little miss at Ade-Cole firm before we return to the Station.”
                                “Anything for a beautiful woman,” he smiled at me.  “I will be by the Truck.” He said, taking his leave.
                Jake nudged me. “Officer Philip on your radar now...ha-ha”
                                “Oh Please Jacob, did I even smile back?”
                                “Whatever! He is cute Policeman; he is tall, athletic and handsome. You should consider him.”
                The Policeman had all the qualities that Jake said, but how could he think of a Policeman and me? “Jake, you should date a Policewoman. Let’s go”
                                “Thanks for the ride Philip.” I said as I got off the Truck.
                                “Anytime Miss. Just come to my division.” He called back.
                Jake winked at me. “Bye Love”
                Bola held out a note at me as soon as I got back. “It came from the Court.”
                                “Thank you.”
                I read the letter and sighed. The Court was requesting my presence to follow up the restraining order I requested for on Daniel. I turned to Dare’s office.
                                “Welcome back.” He said, as I walked in.
                                “Thank you.”
                He gestured to a chair. “Please sit.” I complied. “I hope you didn’t come here to tear me apart about your Practise session.” He said, smiling.
                                “Not at all, on the contrary, I am very grateful.”
                                “You are welcome.”
                I smiled. “I am to appear at Court tomorrow over Daniel’s restraining order.”
                                “Okay. I got the letter also to be a witness,” he said looking at his wrapped fist.
                                “Does it still hurt?” I asked, looking concerned.
                I nodded. “I am not going to lie about that, it bloody hurts. His face is so hard”
                I chuckled. “I think you are the one with the lazy bones. Jake would tear anyone apart and his hands would still be intact. He is as fit as fiddle”
                                “You should have called Jake that night, you know.”
                                “Aww...I am not ridiculing your efforts, I am just saying that maybe you are paying too much attention to the fist and that’s why it won’t heal.”
                He smiled. “Okay,” he replied, taking off the bandage. “Maybe if I stretch the fist a bit, it will get better.”
                                “You don’t have to remove it.”
                                “I’ll be fine.” He replied. “I don’t want to appear with it on Friday before my father.”
                I rose to my feet. “If you say so, I have to return to my office. I have a few paper works to tidy.”
                                “See you later.” He replied.
                I got an e-mail from Dora that read:
                                “I have gotten more information on Paul. You cannot guess. See U at home.”
                ‘Now what’s new about Paul?’ I thought. I typed back; “Thanks”
                                “Knock Knock” Toni said, as she walked in.
                I smiled at her. “You sly! Why didn’t you tell me about my practise session? Now I why you stuttered before leaving my office.”
                                “But I heard that you did fine. You can blame me, those are office secrets.”
                                “Or secrets between Dare and you?”
                Toni smiled. “He told me not to tell you, I am sorry.” She walked over to the window. “If you ever get bored, just stare through this window, and it will bubble you back to life. Reina never took her eyes off this place.”
                                “Toni, if you miss Reina so much, you can phone her or just mail her.” I said, sharply.
                                “I was just teasing.” She replied.
                I raised my eyebrows. “Teasing? I think you were in awe of Reina. You have to forget her, you know, and if you can’t, limit it around me, thanks.”
                                “I have known Reina all my life, and she always made me miserable because of my size. You know what she tagged me at high school? She called me a ‘Balloon’! I could never like her.”
                I grinned. “I think you should work out during the weekends.”
                                “I have regular sit ups, but I can’t diet to look like a strand of spaghetti like you. Do you even eat at all?”
                I laughed. “Of course, I do. You will shocked by my consumption rate.”
                                “Please don’t make me laugh. If you eat well, it will show honey.”
                                “You can believe whatever you like, but I eat well.”
                Toni flipped through a magazine on my table. “Friday is only two days away, what are going to wear?” she asked.
                                “I haven’t really given it a thought. It’s a dinner, so I will take time off in the morning to get to the store, that is if my wardrobe is devoid of evening wears, but I don’t think it will come to that.”
                Toni pointed at a gown in the magazine. “This goes for twenty thousand naira, we can buy it online and it will be delivered tomorrow.” She said, going through the details. “Oh, it is M&S”
                                “Let me see.” I said, collecting the magazine. I have a rich taste for English dresses, so I was willing to check out the dress. “Should we browse it?”
                                “Oh yes,” Toni said as she leaned over the table. “What is this?”
                I laughed. “The gown goes for #21,000 naira. A thousand must go for delivery service.” I replied.
                                “Why didn’t they place that in the magazine? Rogues! Always trying to exploit people.”
                I smiled. “It’s just normal that you pay a delivery fee for your goods. They have to make some profits.” Toni shrugged. “I know that they should have been honest with the actual price, but what can they do?”
                                “Whatever, are you still going to buy?”
                I grinned. “I will just check my wardrobe when I get home. If I am not comfortable, I will place the order.”
                                “Okay. See you at closing hour; I have to put a few things together for the Friday dinner.”
                                “See you.”
                I joined the staff bus after work.
                                “What’s new about Paul?” I asked as soon as I walked in. 
                                Hi Dora, how was your day? I think that is a better way to ask your question” she replied, as she watered the flowers.
                I sighed. “I must have lost my manners. Good evening.”
                                “That’s better.” She replied, with a smile. She continued with the watering of the flowers. ‘Damn Dora!’ I thought. She knew that I was dying to know what she had found out about Paul, yet she was not saying a word. I raised my eyebrows at her, hoping to gain her attention. It worked. “Oh that...about Paul, right? She asked smiling.
                At that moment, I wished that I could force the gist out of her mouth. A horrid grin lurked around her lips as she tried to conceal something that I was too interested in, she ended the smile and stared at me sternly.
                                “Spill it!” I ordered.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012


tommyslav's island

Hey Guys, Thanks for being there. I am very grateful. Here's one way to make us better. There is a twitter account at Do follow please. You can also follow me on twitter @IAm_Tomi 

We need to make the account interactive. You are free to pour out your feelings, take polls and you might even be nearer than you know it to a ______.

FF on twitter @TeamPBMH
FF me @IAm_Tomi

From Tomi XO



                                “Good morning Darlene.” Bola, my secretary said, flashing a smile at me.
                                “Hi Bola. Hope you had a nice rest.” I called back.
                I dropped my handbag beside my chair and lifted the Dailies from the table. I widened my eyes as I lifted another paper; all the headlines read the same news.
          ‘Magnificent way for Jake to announce his arrival’ I thought as I grabbed my phone. There was a light tap on the door. “Please come in.”
                                “Good morning Darlene.”
                                “Good morning Dare” I stared at his wrapped fist. “Did you break a bone?”
                He smiled. “Daniel is a whole lot, his face broke my bone.” He took his seat. “How are you doing?”
                                “I am fine. I appreciate what you did for me with Daniel.” I said, staring at his fist.
                He shrugged. “It was nothing. I hope you have Friday under control.”
                                “Yes, I do.”
                Dare rose to his feet. “I will be in my office.” He replied, and left. I dialled Jake’s phone, but he didn’t answer it.  ‘Maybe cooling off at the Police Station’ I thought. Jake must have been tipsy and gotten into an unreasonable fight. I concluded my thoughts and wrapped up my speech for Friday. I started rehearsing my speech. I stuttered over a few lines, but I had a conviction that I would still do fine on Friday.
                                “Knock knock,” Toni said, as she walked in.         
                                “Good morning Mrs Small.” I said, rising to my feet. “Please sit,” I said, pointing at a seat.
                                “Already feeling like an office owner,” Toni said, taking her seat. “Anyways, Case 1, I heard you were arrested, along with Dare. That’s romantic, did you share a cell?” she asked clapping her hands with glee.
                                “Sorry to disappoint you, we were locked up for only thirty minutes, and also, we had separate cells.”
                Toni laughed. “Case 2, Have you seen the papers this morning? Your Jake is such a wonder. He was reported to have gotten into a fight at 11:45 last night; the papers said he was tipsy.”
                                “Tipsy? Oh, come on, Jake does whatever he likes.” I said, sounding uninterested. I still felt hurt by Jake not telling me about taking Paul to the Bahamas. “He will be alright; the highest punishment he will get will be a fine for causing an upset in a public place.”
                Toni shrugged. “How do you plan to take care of your so-called stalker, I heard about the man.”
                                “I have no idea of what to make of the whole thing now. He claims not to be a stalker, but I cannot trust him totally. He is everywhere.”
                                “Maybe coincidental meetings, but just to be safe, get a restraining order on him. That won’t hurt.”
                I nodded. “I am processing that. I hope I can have it as soon as possible.” Toni stared at me for a while, as though she had something to say. She then swallowed. “What is it Toni?”
                                “Nothing.” She rose to her feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow; I have a case this evening.” She replied and left.
                Jake’s phone was unreachable. ‘Must be having a nice time with the police’ I thought. The Police won’t miss on the opportunity to arrest a celebrity’s kid, especially one who can dish out enough money for his bail, but by the look of things, it seemed like Jake didn’t want to pay any bail, as his phone was unreachable.
                There was a knock on the door. “Please come in.”
                                “Excuse me Darlene. Dare said that you should get ready to accompany him to the City Mall.” Bola said.
                                “Thank you.”
                We arrived at the City mall an hour later. Dare walked briskly into the building and I followed without asking any questions. I started getting used to the idea that Dare might just want me to be anywhere he was. What could I do to stop that? He is the boss!
                                “Darlene, meet Carl Frampton from London, he is going to be helping you with your first practise session.”
                                “Hello Mr. Frampton.” I greeted courteously, exchanging pecks. I stared at Dare without a clue. He didn’t tell me that he had organised a meeting for me.
                                “I guess you will be fine. Let’s see you battle out the initials in the courtroom. The first session is always a surprise.”
                I walked into a room that had some audience and a top Lagos Activist as the Judge. ‘Dare wants me roasted’ I thought. The Clerk went through the formalities and he called the case.
                                “The State Vs Mr Jacob Martin-Oje.” He called.
                I turned round and watched my best friend walk in guarded by a police. He flashed a smile at me.
                                 “It’s your first test, but if you do well, he will be free to go home with you, if not, your friend will start community service tomorrow.” Carl whispered into my ears.
                I smiled back at Jake, and I could not wait to defend my best friend, of which I knew nothing about his actions.
                                “Ms Williams, you are the defendant to Jacob Martin-Oje, it should be a mere test case, but if you score even a 79 point by my rating, Mr Martin-Oje will start community service. You need 80 points to get him discharged and acquitted.” The judge announced.
                Jake stuck his tongue out at me as I rose to my feet. I smiled. ‘Community service won’t be a bad idea.’ I thought smiling at him. He frowned at me.
                                “Ms Williams and Mr Martin-Oje, this is no circus. Do proceed.” The judge ordered.
                I had a good knowledge of the basics from Law school, so I went through it swiftly and then defended Jake based on being ‘drunk and provoked to anger’. Jake, when asked of his weekly alcohol intake replied:
                                “I am sober Judge; I don’t know who told my incompetent lawyer that I was drunk.”
                The courtroom let out a laugh, including the Judge and myself. I shook my head. ‘Jake had just ruined his chance of getting free. Community service for sure!’ I thought.
                                “This court is aware of the relationship between Mr Martin-Oje and Ms Williams outside this courtroom and so I won’t drag the case any further,” the judge started. “Darlene, you did well using those points in his defence even though he rubbished them. We ensured that you couldn’t communicate to know anything from him, but I am pleased with your work, good job girl.” He said.
                                “Bravo.” Carl said to me.
                The judge cleared his throat. “Nevertheless, it is community service for Jacob Martin-Oje”
                The Clerk called. “Court! Arise”
                We all rose to our feet until the Judge left the room. I rushed at Jake. “You nit-wit!”  I said, jabbing his shoulders.
                He swirled me round and round. “I missed you love.”
                                “Me too.” We locked in a tight embrace. “Community service for you tomorrow.’ I said, releasing myself from the hug. Now I was the one sticking my tongue out.
                                “Whatever. It will be fun.” He replied.
                Dare and Carl joined us. “Good job Darlene, you are good.” Dare said.
                                “Thanks Dare.” I replied.              
                                “See you in the office.” he replied and left with Carl.
                I winked at Jake. “You are dropping me at work, right?”
                                “Seriously? I came in a police truck.” He replied, laughing.




Monday, June 25, 2012


                                                                                                                PAUL’S LETTER
                                “I would not be surprised if you are just reading this letter 2 to 3 days after getting it. It shows that you are still the Darlene that I have always known, always jumping into conclusions, the letter is from ME, not Jake. I would like to ask a favour from you. Do not hate Jake for bringing me to the Bahamas. I know you are shocked to read that Jake took me to the Bahamas, but he knows what to do for a friend, well, not really friends.
                                I apologize for the show that I put up with the gun and all. I was clueless and scared of loosing you. I apologize once again, and I hope that you forgive me.
                                Breaking up with you has been hard, but I am moving on fine. It has been slow, but I am determined to put you aside and move on. I know that it would be impossible to forget you. Before you hear the last of me, permit me to tell you all that I was not able to say when we last met.
                                I never lied to you when I said I love you. I have always loved you since the first day I set my eyes on you, but I cannot say that I will always love you because I intend to move on, just as I know you have. Darlene, you were very special to me. You were my first special girl. You are nothing like every other girl I know, and that is why I will always respect you. You are the woman that every man wants, but not every part of you is what a man wants. You do not always have to be so FORTHRIGHT. From the first day we started our relationship, you were so straight with me that ‘you never loved me’, you did not have to put it that way. Not every man can cope with your being so forthright. I could not, and I am sorry.
                                Darlene, you never TRIED to love me. You did not appreciate my love; I worked hard towards making myself a man worthy of you, but you were not ready to see him. Darlene, not every man can be exactly the type of man that you want, but you could have made me better, I was willing to try. U never was.
                                D, about that guy you brought to my place, your boss, right? Look, I know that he is exactly your type-Elegant, and a perfect debonair, but I think I am going to be the first to slam the relationship before it happens, he will never make you happy. Love is everywhere around you, be open to it.
                                Okay, I am done writing you, I still miss you, and I had a nice time with Jacob to be honest, he enrolled me here for a retreat in order to help me ‘find myself.
                                Darlene, you are a perfect woman for any man, maybe, I am not just the perfect man for you. However, I believe that I deserve better. I will find someone else when the time is right and move on properly.
                                Once again, don’t forget all that I have said. I may not be the perfect advisor, but I don’t think that your boss will ever make you happy. He might be your fantasy but he is not your Prince.

                I sighed. I read the letter for the second time, but this time, not aloud. Dora patted me on the back and left to join Kolapo in the house. I folded the letter and placed it carefully beside me. My Juice was now cold and it almost felt impossible to take another gulp. Paul’s words were more scratchy than scary. At first, I thought that he might have carried out his threats and committed suicide, but thanks to Jake, Paul is aiming at moving forward and even admonishing me on my next relationship. He even feels that Dare might be my next!
I almost couldn’t hear Dora call until she tapped me. “Hey, I am sorry. Is there a problem?”
                                “Are you so sure of Jake’s safety? Paul could be dangerous.” She said, taking her seat.
                                “Jake will be fine. If he took Paul with him to the Bahamas, he must be aware of his actions. I am only curious as to why Jake didn’t tell me, he would never hide a thing from me.”
                                “Here is a first” she shrugged.
                Dora was right. There is always a first time, but I never had imagined that Jake would hide a thing like this from me. “Yes.” I replied coolly.
                                “Let’s imagine that both are safe. What do you intend to do about Daniel?” I stared at her. “The stalker”
                                “He claims he is no stalker.”
                                “They never tell. Why is he everywhere? Coincidence?”
                                “I really don’t know, but I will get a restraining order, I won’t be taking any chances with that guy. By the way, Does KP work at Williams too?”
                Dora raised her eyebrows. “No. Why do you ask?”
                                “He is always bringing you home, so I thought you guys might work together, and you know, I have never really asked him where he works.”
                                “I think you guys should chat a little, he is inside and bored. Do you mind keeping him company?”
                                “I am a bit stressed out now, maybe some other time.” I replied, standing.
                                “Really? Are you going to deny my boyfriend the opportunity of having a chat with you? Don’t be mean sis, it won’t take forever, you know.”
                Kolapo smiled. “How are you today?”
                                “Good. And you?” I replied casually.
                                “Fine.” He cleared his throat. “I am happy to learn that you are getting along well with Dora. She’s a good girl”
                I smiled. “I know that. I am also pleased to have a good relationship with her.”
                                “So, how is law going for you?”
                                “I am at the initials, so I can’t say that I have really started the court cases and all, but I am doing pretty fine.” I sprawled out into the sofa. I was exhausted, and with this interview with KP, I might just get more exhausted.
                Kolapo stared at me for a while and said. “I think you are naturally boring.” My eyes popped open like a shotgun. “Do you have any fun at all? Anything spontaneous about you?”
                                “I do have fun, but only when necessary, I try to keep the balance.” I replied.
                                “Necessary doesn’t imply that you strike a balance, it sounds like only 5% of your life. I think you should hang out with me on maybe one or two occasions, I bet you will have fun.”
                                “I do have fun.” I argued. “Only yesterday night, I was at the movies, and then at the Central Town square. I do have fun.” I insisted.
                                “Who are you trying to convince? Me? Or yourself?”
                KP was right. I was trying to convince myself. Fun isn’t for me, or is it? I sighed, and diverted from our discussion. “Where do you work?”
                                “I run a beauty parlour.”
                                “Seriously?” I asked, looking surprised.
                He winked. “Yes. ‘KP’s Place’ is the name. You will get every treatment to bring life to the body and soul.”
                                 “KP’s place? I have heard of it in South Africa. When was it established?”
                                “Yes. It’s been for over two years. I have the head office in Johannesburg; I just started the Lagos Outfit six months ago.” He replied, handing me a business card.
                                “I will definitely check it out.” I said.
                                “If you can come to my Beauty Parlour, you will get a fabulous treatment and then we could hang out a little. We could do that this weekend.”
                                “I am very busy this weekend, maybe some other time, but we will fix an appropriate date for that.”
                I left Kolapo in the Living room and left for my bedroom. “I have missed you.” I said, slumping into my bed. All I could think about was sleeping. I sprawled out on the bed without eve taking off my clothes. I could sleep in shoes in this condition. My phone buzzed. It was a message from Jake.
                                “I am in Nigeria.” It read.